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After my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer, it was recommended that I be tested for the BRCA gene which she carried. Our family has a long, and sorted history of cancer, so when my test came back BRCA-1 +, it took very little deliberating to decide to have prophylactic bilateral mastectomies. I was already a 20+ years survivor of Burkitt’s Lymphoma, I had no intention of adding breast cancer to my list of battles. During the recovery from my mastectomies, I had a lot of time to really consider how many other ways I was taking care of myself and minimizing my risk of suffering from the same conditions that I help people care for everyday. It was then that I realized that though I had undergone a major surgery to “keep myself healthy”, I had bigger issues that needed to be addressed. I was grossly overweight (and still hate to admit it), a terrible insomniac, borderline hypertensive and so out of shape that, after surgery, it was usually all I could do to stand up without using my arms. That was November of 2008. In January of 2009, I decided things were going to change. No more excuses about travel and stress. I travel 2-3 weeks out of the month for my job and the stress of some of those weeks can be extraordinary. That used to mean a very nice dinner and a couple glasses of wine at night to “unwind”, but no more. Now, I start every day on the road in the hotel gym, and sometimes I end the day there as well. (At home, I work out from an hour to two and a half every day.) I search for hotels with full kitchens and on every occasion possible, make my own meals including brown bag lunches. In August, I took another step and became a vegetarian to aid the battle with my genetically high cholesterol the way that nature intended, rather than the pharmaceutical companies. Surprisingly enough, 3 days after I gave up the meat, I slept all night long. I rang in the 2010 New Year 60lbs lighter, well rested, with perfect blood pressure, borderline cholesterol levels but no medications, and the ability to run, (yes run!) several miles. I can’t say I never enjoy a nice dinner and some wine, but now, it’s not coping, it’s celebrating!
As a nurse manager, I gave up our conference room to turn it into a tranquility room. My nurses are caring, giving, and very hardworking. I felt it was important to give them a place to rest, meditate and renew their energy. The tranquility room provides this place for nurses. Movies, pretty pictures, music, a window, and a massage table were incorporated into the room. A program for healing touch was initiated and training provided to the nurses so that they could do healing touch on each other. Staff has learned how to take care of themselves, so when they are stressed, they can engage in healing touch in the tranquility room. A favorite patient was about to die and I was able to call the healing touch staff to give myself some time away and a sense of relaxation to help refocus on the patient when I returned. When I resumed taking care of my dying patient, I was able to be more energized and more able to cope again. As nurses we typically don’t take enough time for ourselves so that we have a greater capacity to care for our patients.
Feeling the need to be more energized and take care of myself, I signed up to take a fitness boot camp course at the gym. I decided to recruit four of my nursing friends. None of us had exercised in a long time. One of us hadn’t exercised in 25 years. After participating in boot camp every one of us was feeling so much better physically. Boot camp gave us more energy, made us feel better about ourselves, and gave us a chance to support and spend time with each other. Everyone could definitely feel a big difference. None of us would have continued exercising without the others’ support.
My mother worked 2 jobs and looked after neighbors and her family very “admirably”. Every now and then I saw her cry because she put herself last. I learned that I would never put myself last in any situation. “If I don’t look after me, then I won’t be there.” We need to look at ourselves.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2008. I was a workaholic and felt that I always did many things for others instead of myself. It was a life altering experience because now I have a structured self care process. I put myself as number one on my list. “We have to look after ourselves because no one else will.”